Oxytocin

by Ian Bravender

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1.
03:15
2.
02:26
3.
03:10
4.
5.
03:39
6.
7.
8.
03:57
9.
10.
04:48
11.
02:29

credits

released July 4, 2017

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Ian Bravender Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Track Name: Days
I have impeccable taste and high expectations
I disappear often without explanation
To think about how long
Until we’re both buried and gone

You’re an impeccable lover, I’m a transformation
I disappear often to drum in the basement
To let my frustrations out
And avoid the spread of doubt

For days

These are the best days of our lives
I can see it in your eyes
Nobody lives forever
So how could we sever
The best days of our lives

We have impeccable thoughts and deep conversations
We’ve both been destroyed and we’ve both been shaken
So we pass around the bowl
And neutralize our souls

We have joyful moments, forget education
The days bounce from true love to pure isolation
But the nights are something else
We vandalize ourselves

For days

These are the best days of our lives
Maybe we could try tonight

The best days of our lives
The best days of our lives

These are the best days of our lives
Maybe we could die tonight
Nobody lives forever
So how could we sever
The best days of our lives
Track Name: Entropy
Together in a room, my favorite people in the world
Together in a room that is my room and is the room where all the fun starts
At night we drift away and then the house is not the same
People are awake inside their rooms no one is wondering why the door’s shut

Wires lit by fires in the pixels on the screen
Hiding liars and desires that are unspoken by me
And entropy will eat me to the bone
Reach into me, believe me all alone

Together in a car, a new beginning not an end
Invincible and flying down the road anticipating new horizons
Eyes closed in the backseat all there is to say’s been said
But sterner looks and accusations make it hard to sleep in the disquiet

Getting higher, led by occupiers squatting in the car
Nearing temples of desire that are different than before
Time will prove this whole thing overblown
Kill the denier, defying entropy alone

In the past, by the shore
Fingers intertwined, digging into stone
In the past, by the shore
You’re slipping away, I’m digging into stone
In the past, by the shore
Feet bloody and bruised, and digging into stone
I thought I knew the plan
I thought I knew my setting and I thought I knew your frequency and tone
Eventually everyone is alone
Track Name: Oxytocin
The makers
The fakers
In the same universe
The pills and
The leaves will
Keep you singing in verse

The neurons
Firing
In a messy embrace
We’ve been there
And we know
That it’s all in my head
It’s all in my head

But when the drugs run out...
We go back to the start
Just be careful you
don’t
start
thinking
That they’re on our side

I’m buzzing
I’m flying
I’m all alone with you
Our timelines
No fine lines
On our map of the world

But when the drugs run out...
We go back to the start
Just be careful you
don’t
start
thinking
That they’re on our side

And when our time runs out
We’ll go back to the start
Just remember
The connections
And we’ll never be dead
Knowing it’s all in our heads
Track Name: Out of the Blue
Out of the blue
I’m gonna lose my soul
In front of you
I’m gonna lose control
The rise is silent to me
The fall is so deafening
The channel is the same and I never really promised that I wouldn’t drag you down with me

Out of the blue
I’m gonna kill the light
In front of you
Do it out of spite
The dark is perfect for me
Any light is too blinding
The button is the same and I never really promised that I wouldn’t drag you down with me

Out of the blue
I can’t think straight
In front of you
Who knows what awaits
The days are happy to me
The nights are debilitating
The life is the same and I never really promised that I wouldn’t drag you around with me

This is another performance
Isn’t it?
A night of action ended
With the wreck of the corporate
Another performance, isn’t it?
Another performance, isnt it?

This is a cry for help
A condemnation to hell
A day of action potential
A day at the other end of the belt
Kiss and tell, why don’t you

Out of the blue
I didn't hate myself
But it wasn't stable
It all depended on
You feeling the same


Out of the blue
It all goes away
With the realization that
All things will change
Nothing at all is permanent
I can get better yet
But my mind is the same and I never really promised you anything at all
Track Name: Tributaries
This life is like a tributary
A single vein on a leaf on a branch on a tree
As we gradually trickle onward
To our shared destination
A sense of camaraderie

My life is hardly stationary
From locale to locale, home is wherever I see
As I skirt from place to place
Towards the ultimate end
A sense of futility

I’m looking only to run away
Run away

I thought you’d never ask
I knew we'd never last

Our lives are hardly ordinary
In crowds of billions, it’s hard to be unique
As we graze green pastures
Unaware of the universe
Are we ever really free?

My life is just a corollary
After all is said and done the only goal is to be free
As I begin to forget
Ambition and meaning
Some semblance of peace

Is there a way to take back yesterday
Yesterday

I thought you’d never say
I thought you’d never say

To me
Your thoughts are underneath
Buried
The facade of steady seas
Just like me

Hidden beneath a pleasing shade of gray
I can see now that all we were doing was was running away
Track Name: Floral Detritus
Floral detritus remains
I’m twisted and naked and confused for days
My toes on the petals, alone and afraid
I pray that you’ll wait

I’ll show you confidence just for a minute
Don’t cut the connection, just come and get it
I’ll show you confidence just for a minute

Cigarette detritus remains
I’m restless and paralyzed, confused for days
My foot on the pedal, alone and afraid
I pray that you’ll wait

I’ll show you confidence just for a minute
Don’t cut the connection, just come and get it
Everything I could give every life I could live

I’ll show you confidence for a minute
Don’t cut the connection, just come and get it
It’s getting nicer out
So walk over to my house
And just come and get it
Just come and get it
Just come and get it

The light is so bright
The dark is so dark
The life is alight
Alone in the dark

I’ll show you confidence for a minute
Don’t cut the connection, just come and get it
It’s getting nicer out
So walk over to my house
And just come and get it
Just come and get it

It’s getting nicer out
So walk over to my house
And just come and get it
Just come and get it
Track Name: Shoulder Blades
There was a glimmer in your eye, sending shivers through the night, there was something on your mind
You’re looking ready to go out, scattered glitter all about, there was something on your mind
I think I'm ready to give in, weighing options, touching skin, only one thing on my mind
You're playing feminist radio, and I know where it's gonna go, really nothing on my miiiiinnnnd

You could be
Making a life
You could be
Wastin time
And I'll be
Studying the grooves on your shoulder blades

We heard a knock on the door, made me flash back to before, someone else on my mind
There's a shadow cast before me, overlooking fourth street, memories on my mind
Too many memories of this place, too many memories of your face, too many memories in my mind
In your room I'll never rest, in my room we’ll never rest, there's a warrant on my mind

You could be
Making a life
You could be
Wastin time
And I'll be
Studying the grooves on your shoulder blades

You could be
Having a ball
You could be
Destroying it all
And I'll be
Lost in the grooves on your shoulder blades

And in the dark
We will take off our clothes
And I'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine

And in the light
I will put on my mask
And I’ll be biding my time before I see you in the dark

And in the dark
We will take off our clothes
And I’ll be racing fingers through the notches of your spine
And in the light
I will break all my bones
And I will follow you through thorns and over cliffs into the dark

And in the dark
Things will stay
As they are
Track Name: Give Up
There's a lot of fish in the ocean babe, the ocean babe
They'll know what to do when you misbehave, you misbehave
And for the others it lasts a day, just lasts a day
Just like something precious you throw away, you throw away

So take it from me
Take it in your heart and give up

I'm not
Straight enough I'm not
Queer enough I will
Never be enough yeah I will
Always be too much
I’m giving up

So much is going on behind the scenes, behind the scenes
I’m sick of walking around in a dream, I’m in a dream
And on the outside I’m rolling on the floor (saccharine)
But on the inside I’m gasoline, I’m gasoline

So take it from me
Take what you want and give up

I'm not
Sane enough I'm not
Ill enough I will
Never be enough yeah I will
Always be too much
I’m giving up

We’re in the bathtub and I’m waking up, I’m waking up
Could give a damn if you’ve got the stuff, I’ve got the stuff
Go ahead and tell me I’m sober enough, I’m sober enough
I’m underwater, you’re treasonous, you’re treasonous

Take it from me
Take it in your heart and fuck off

I'm not
Hot enough I'm not
Ugly enough I will
Never be enough yeah I will
Always be too much
I’m giving up
Give up
Track Name: I Opened my Eyes
Well if there’s ever been a specter that wouldn’t give up
It’s the ghost in the mirror that’s been talking to us
The presence of the other blowing up like smoke
And they just repeat the slogan better hold on hope
Yeah

(And then I opened my eyes)

I know a cold winter’s coming ‘cause I’ve seen it on TV
It’s a bit different this time, ‘cause now you’ve seen me
The presence of the other blowing up like smoke
And they just repeat the slogan better hold on hope

(And then I opened my eyes)

For a second I lost myself in front of the crowd
The noise was beautiful but far too loud
For a second I lost myself, unable to cope
But I think I’m getting better so I’ll hold on hope
Yeah

It’s probably best we depart, I don’t know where we will go
My dream is gone, your dream lives on death row
For a second I lost myself, unable to cope
But I think I’m getting better so I’ll hold on hope

(And then I opened my eyes)

I grabbed a pen and started writing with no plan or aim
Thinking it could help me escape from this mortal frame
I was hoping for a future with clearer bright skies
But the overcast November offered no advice
Yeah

I grabbed a friend and started walking with no plan or aim
Return to nature to help us escape our mortal frame
I was hoping for a future with clearer bright skies
Maybe all I had to do was just open my eyes
And then I opened my eyes
Track Name: Stone Arch
A mess, tangled strings and connections
A ritalin infused confection
A lithium ion direction
Why do you do this

A mess tangled strands of confusion
A memory wiped bone contusion
A powerful dominant illusion
Why do I want this, want this

A primary friendship connection
A soft, restrained show of affection
The mess of the global election
Why are you like this, like this

Why do you talk to me undercover?
Why do you talk to my psyche?
If nothing matters why does everyone feel so much
So in pain and alive
Why do we do this
Why are you like this

Tell me why are you like this?
Are you the same with anyone
Steal me from my sickness and tell me
Why are you like this
Why are you like this

Underneath this bridge
Track Name: Only Ending
What happened right before I said goodbye
An awkward farewell to the only people in the world I shouldn't be awkward with
anymore
Then I left
I put on my friendly face
Met some people
Sat in my seat
Admitted defeat

[There is no right
There is no wrong
There is no weak
There is no strong
There is no fault
There is no blame
There is no fierce
There is no tame

There is no conclusion

There is only ending]

Is another one out there to say goodbye
Is there only one real way to say goodbye
Look at patterns
They say only one thing
They only say one thing
Only ending